It’s Wrong To Raise Both Genders The Same

Myth: Boys and girls should be raised to be people.

Wrong! Boys should be raised to be men. Girls should be raised to be women. That’s what the Bible teaches. The myth is taught by the culture today. Boys and girls are thrown together in the public and private school blender. Sixteen years later, they come out not as distinctive representatives of their God-given gender, but a finely chopped puree of “person,” with the requisite identical attributes of true God-hatred, unquestioned intolerance of all absolute truth, and ironclad commitment to egalitarianism, the belief that there are no differences between the sexes and certainly no God-ordained hierarchy of roles. You know what’s scary? It’s not just little Johnny Postmodern that is influenced by the culture. It’s Sammy Sunday School as well (how’s that for a stupid sample name).

You see, if Christians raised children according to their gender, they wouldn’t raise women to aspire to men’s roles. They would raise their girls to be smart, critical thinkers, capable at many tasks, but they would fundamentally raise them to be wives and moms. That’s the biblical picture of femininity. Women of the Bible do work, but they usually do so in a secondary role, giving first priority and the lion’s share of their time to their husband, their children, and the care and development of their home. Women of the Bible are almost without exception homemakers, those who care for children and make the home a home. Women of the Bible are not, contrary to what the culture screams at us all, the movers and shakers of the political and business spheres. They just aren’t. I think that many Christians have bought more into the cultural model of femininity than the biblical model of femininity. They raise their daughters with the vague notion that they may someday raise a family, but they strangely import ideas into girl-rearing that belong to the realm of boy-rearing: political, economic, and academic ambition. Certainly girls should cultivate their mind–I’m delighted that my wife underwent a rigorous biblical education at her college–but their goal should not be to be the US Secretary of State. Their goal should be to raise the US Secretary of State’s children for the glory and reknown of the Lord Jesus Christ.

In the same way, boys should be raised with the idea firmly and squarely fixed in their minds that they are to lead, provide for, and protect their wives. Some circumstances may arise in marriage in which wives need to work, but ordinarily, men should do all they can to allow their wives to raise their children and build their home. Unlike women, men should use their God-given testosterone (women have far, far less of this ambition-fueling chemical) to shoulder the burden of provision for their family. Men, contrary to what the culture teaches, are not to be passive, wimpy, freighted down with worry, concern, and indecision. Men are to pray, to take counsel, to read their Bible, and then to act. They are to be courageous, aggressive, and wise. They are to consciously take the burden of provision for their wives whenever possible and shoulder it themselves, and do so without complaint. This is their God-given role. They are made to flourish, just as women are made to flourish as homemakers. Men are not to be the primary child-raiser, the stay-at-home parent, the pushover father. They are to be strong, godly, gentle, kind, bold, and dominion-takers, as Adam was.

Christian, don’t accept the cultural lies. Raise boys to be men, and raise girls to be women. Such is the picture of family life from Scripture; such is the design that promises God’s best to us.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “It’s Wrong To Raise Both Genders The Same

  1. Dad

    Some time ago the Lord brought to my mind, and soul, that to put on the mind of Christ means to start, as an individual, to rename all things in my life. Meaning that once as a person of darkness I had labeled all things, at least to some extent, inappropriately. Now as a believer I am to rename these things in the light of God’s revelation. This is a huge task, and one that the church is not eager to embrace.

    I think you touched upon this in your opening statements. You seem to be on the right tract – looking forward to seeing where you will be in twenty years or so.

    May the Lord continue to be your light!

    Al

  2. Claire

    The woman in Proverbs 31 is involved in purchasing and cultivating property and selling her goods. How do you interpert her role both as a wife, mother, and economic agent? Scripture seems to laud all of her attributes.

    -Claire

  3. Aedonis

    “Women of the Bible do work, but they usually do so in a secondary role, giving first priority and the lion’s share of their time to their husband, their children, and the care and development of their home.”

    I think you may have missed this part of Owen’s post, Claire. Also, the woman of Proverbs 31 worked FROM the home. She used extra time to supplement the household income with her skill in a craft.

  4. claire

    Owen,
    A. “They raise their daughters with the vague notion that they may someday raise a family, but they strangely import ideas into girl-rearing that belong to the realm of boy-rearing: political, economic, and academic ambition.”

    I am confused by the last part of this statement. Was I not to study hard at Bowdoin and honor the Lord with a sincere work ethic? Was I not to seek good employment after graduation but rather go home and live with my family? Or was I to spend my time making lasagnas for church suppers with the hope of some young man being taken with me and asking for my hand?

    B. “I think that many Christians have bought more into the cultural model of femininity than the biblical model of femininity.” Can you explain more why Biblical femininity is chiefly expressed through being a wife and mother. I do not at all discount the blessing of being a wife and mother. However, what about women who are single for a season or for their entire lives? Are they less feminine?

    C. Finally, it would help me understand your position more if you would use specific examples from the Bible to support your opinions. Here’s a link to an article that does just that.

    http://thirdmill.org/answers/answer.asp/file/99744.qna/category/pt/page/questions/site/iiim

    -Claire

  5. Tami

    The Lord has given specific roles for both men and women. As true to His promises, if we obey His commands we are blessed; if we disobey His commands we are cursed or suffer the consequences. As women I believe we have sadly conformed to the world’s standards rather than live according to our Lord’s. An honest look at the youth around us, the marriage relationship and the state of the “church” reveals that we are suffering the consequences. Had we through the centuries conformed to God’s standard, the church would look alot different today…Titus 2:4-5 sums it up. “…so that no one will malign the word of God.”

    To add to Owen’s list of scripture references..”A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.” Deuteronomy 22:5

    In Christ

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